The following email arrived today, and comes from anguished family members, who, I’m sure, have to be very weary of the ups and downs of the trials Lea is going through, and are venting some frustration with the unknown. It is difficult to be separated by long distance and to be unable to provide support for a loved one. I’m sure this is a big part of the emotions expressed here.
“Larry, Just wanted to ask you a question. You say God is doing his work, but God made his choice to take Lea back on July 16th. You and the Dr. have been changing what God intended. Please explain to me what you mean what is God’s wish for Lea?
I worry when and if she pulls through this and has physical and mental problems what is she going to think of you not honoring her wishes as she has put in her living will. Will she resent you for not doing as she wished or will she thank you for not doing as she wished? I guess this will depend if she returns to a normal life and can resume what she was capable of before.
I really hope for your sake she will be her old self. I just can’t stop thinking what Dr. Mah would do if this were his wife.
Would he leave her to suffer so long or would he have let her go when this started in July. Please help me to understand why you feel the need to keep trying and not do what God intended to happen.
Larry thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to you answer explaining this so I can understand what you are thinking. I believe in God and say a prayer for Lea many times a day and also one for you that she won’t be disappointed in what quality of life she will have.
Larry I sure hope things will turn around pretty soon because I don’t know how long Lea’s body can keep fighting. I hope and pray it will be soon. I know you hope the same thing. I printed out the picture that you emailed and really appreciate you taking the time to attach it.
Larry have a good night and I look forward to your next email. The phone updates seem to be getting fewer all the time.”
a. ” Please explain to me what you mean what is God’s wish for Lea?” I believe God’s plan for Lea is to have her reach the hearts and souls of others who read of her plight, rethink their relationships with others and with God, and move them closer to the ministry He has planned for them. His plans for Lea? I don’t know about right now, or for the next few years, but I can tell you that she is going to get a whopping heavenly reward!
b. “her wishes in her living will.” Her living will says that she wouldn’t want her life sustained by a ventilator if there was no chance for recovery. Dr. Mah, and his boss Dr. Kirton, have both stated that she is likely to recover. They are required by law to advise us if there is no hope of recovery. If we should ever reach that point, I would let her go to her reward. It would be murder to turn the ventilator off right now.
c. “I really hope for your sake she will be her old self.” Me, too! So far, all tests, including the brain scan, indicate normal conditions. There is no reason so far to feel that she might not return to full normal activity.
d. “I sure hope things will turn around pretty soon because I don’t know how long Lea’s body can keep fighting.” Me, too! The nutritionist reported today that Lea’s nutrition level is improving, so her body is getting better. She also returned to working on the ventilator today, made eye contact with several of us, actually focused on us, and smiled at several people as they came in to say, “Hello.” (Praise God!) She puckered up when I arrived.
e. You know what? If God wanted to take her on the 16 th of July, or any other day, there is no force in the world that would have stopped Him. I am merely a pawn in His great plan, and am guided to do His will.
I didn’t have time to request permission to use the following information, so I am only going to say that it comes from a minister who provided counsel before I responded. I thank him for his insight and wisdom.
He stated, in part, “(Larry)’s accountability in this matter is before God.
What he knows for sure at this point is that he has entered into a covenant with your mom, before God, to love and care for her. That’s what he’s doing. He also knows that God DID NOT take your mom on July 16th. Quite the opposite, he put her in a position where her life could be preserved. Your dad is simply continuing along the path that the Lord set before him.
While I’m sure there are many situations where artificial life support means
should be discontinued, it seems to me that we’re to use all the means we
have at our disposal – provided by a sovereign God – to preserve life. If
there’s any doubt about which way to go in a situation like your dad’s, I’d
say it’s in the direction of honoring his marriage covenant and honoring
life. It comes to mind that . . . the friends’ advice (in the email) sounds a lot like that of Job’s friends!”
Thank you for the above email message from within our family, because it gave me a chance to do some soul-searching before I responded, and reaffirm my position on these questions. Thank you, too, to the minister for his wonderful insight that helped me gain another perspective on my service to Him by honoring my wife.
Thank you, God, for the guidance I have received from so many loved ones in Christ, and for the strength to follow the path you have laid out before us. Thank you for the blessings we have received; for the healing for Lea; and for always being here to answer our every need. Amen.
Good night, baby. Keep smiling!
Surviving God's Woodshed 
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March 28, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Pray-ers
DAY SEVENTY-FIVE
FROM: R Dean
Sept 28 @ 12:31 AM
Dear Larry, We love you and we love Lea.
FROM: Randall
Sept 28 @ 9:56 AM
Larry: I have been getting Lea Updates from Becky Jern here in the office and have been touched by your strength, love for your wife, and faith in Jesus. We serve a mighty God who never fails, and we are standing with you in prayer. I have been with Irwin for over eight years and I have had the pleasure of working with Lea on several occasions. She is a wonderful lady, just over the top, and I still see that beautiful smile, which seems to be a permanent fixture on her face. I believe she will come home and be returned to full health. She and you are in the best of hands. Our Lord is ever faithful, hears and answers our prayers.
Please add me to your mailing list, so I can let Becky know that she can remove me from hers. God bless you and Lea. We look forward to seeing her, and perhaps having the honor of meeting you someday as well.
FROM: Shana
Sept 28 @ 1:28 PM
Hi Larry, Hope all is going well today. I am looking very forward to seeing you guys tomorrow. Will you still be able to pick us up at the airport? If so, should we just give you a call after we have our bags and have you pick us up at baggage claim? You just let us know what will work best for you. I am at home today, so you can e-mail me here.
REPLY FROM: Larry Vaughn
Sept 28 @ 9:19 PM
As it turns out, I will be teaching during the time you arrive. However, David and Dottie are here, and may have plans to pick you up. I talked to Lou earlier, and she said if she doesn’t hear from David in the morning she’ll just take a cab. I’m sure Dave will take care of it. I’ll mention it as soon as I see them in the morning. Travel safely!
REPLY FROM: Shana
Sept 28 @ 9:28 PM
No problem. We can certainly take a cab if need be. We’re just looking forward to seeing you guys!
FROM: Ernest
Sept 28 @ 4:12 PM
Larry, If I may say something in regard to the statement “(Larry)’s accountability in this matter is before God” – My father once found himself in very much the same position you where, in regard to two lives for whom he felt responsible for, his wife and an unborn child, don’t know if I shared this story with you but let me give you a brief synopsis of that tale:
My mother and father where missionaries in central America living in the rain forest witnessing to the indigenous people of the area. My mother was pregnant at the time and during an early morning trip to the well from her bungalow or hut, she fell on the crude clay stairs going down a hill and fell on her stomach. The fall cause her much discomfort and being concerned for his wife my father caught a boat going into town. The trip back to the city was four mentally excruciating hours for them both.
On their arrival she was rush into the hospital and a nurse administered some medication for my mothers pain – But the medication given was incorrect (don’t know what was given) and started to cause my mother to abort the fetus. The doctor on arrival told my father that something had to be done quickly, and that he could only save one of the patient: either the mother for the child. My father refuse to make a choice. His reply was : Doctor I am paying you for both patience – it is not for me to choose who live or who dies – that is for God alone to decide. You do your best and we will leave the rest to God.
Well the doctor manage to deliver a pre-mature baby whom he declared dead to a woman who was still alive; barely alive but still alive nonetheless. The doctor declared the baby dead. My fathers response was: Doc, I paid for the delivery of a living child – you will do what is normal and customary for premature babies. The doctor protested but my father would have it no other way. The doctor complied. My father went down to the registrar general never losing hope and registered a healthy baby. The registrar general told my father that someone had already registered the baby as dead, but my father had the papers change to reflect a living child. And Return on his bicycle to the hospital hours later.
When he arrived and ask to see his son, the nurses gasp. They had forgotten to turn the child which was in an incubator. When they got there the entire right side of the child had third degree burns. And picking the child up leaving parts of his flesh in the incubator they heard a tiny, cry – barely audible. My father then insisted that the child be cared for and so he was rush into intensive care… what that meant under third world conditions circa 1960.
Later that day the doctor confronted my father and ask why he was wasting the time of the staff as the baby would not live past 24 hours. Once again my father maintained that it was not for him to decide. The baby live for 24 hours. The next day the doctor ask the same question stating that he would only give the baby 48 more hours at most. The baby live two days longer. At the that the doctor gave the baby only 72 more hours at best – but the baby live 3 more days.
At that the doctor said, it is a waste of time the baby is brain dead and will be retarded for the rest of his life if he lived past a week. The baby live past a week and was later released and that retarded baby is now writing to you to say: Pay no attention to anything other than what God has revealed to you in your heart. Remember Job. Remember that it is not God who takes us but the devil who tries to break us down by trial and suffering.
However, our father has the ultimate confidence in us that we love him, with all our heart, mind and soul and nothing – not even the threat of lost of those things dear to us; whether passion, health or even those dear to our heart is enough to take our love for him from us. He has faith that we will love him unconditionally even as he loved us – first unconditionally and gave his son.
Therefore: as God have faith in our love for him to the point of testing even his son to prove the devil wrong about us and a damned liar – we too should have faith in God that he loves us and that in the end he will reward us for our love and faithfulness: Now and later with everlasting life. My prayers are for you – For Lea and for all the family, even as your prayers are for me. Sincerely and with all the love of a Son.
REPLY FROM: Larry Vaughn
Sept 28 @ 10:51 PM
Bless you! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. They mean SO very much at this time. I can’t thank you enough! God’s blessings!
FROM: Link
Sept 28 @ 5:03 PM
Dad – Some words of wisdom from Bill. I did not have the time to respond like you needed today, so I hope you don’t mind that I asked Bill for some input. Blessings.
—–Original Message—–
FROM: Bill B
Sept 28 @ 10:29 AM
Link – I can understand your dad’s agitation! Whether intentional or not, the wording of the e-mail your dad received seems manipulative. It places him in a position of dealing with “I told you so” if things don’t go as we all hope. Your dad’s accountability in this matter is before God. What he knows for sure at this point is that he has entered into a covenant with your mom, before God, to love and care for her. That’s what he’s doing. He also knows that God DID NOT take your mom on July 16th. Quite the opposite, he put her in a position where her life could be preserved. Your dad is simply continuing along the path that the Lord set before him.
While I’m sure there are many situations where artificial life support means should be discontinued, it seems to me that we’re to use all the means we have at our disposal – provided by a sovereign God – to preserve life. If there’s any doubt about which way to go in a situation like your dad’s, I’d say it’s in the direction of honoring his marriage covenant and honoring life. It comes to mind that your dad’s friends’ advice sounds a lot like that of Job’s friends!
FROM: Link
Sept 28@ 5:22 PM
P.S. I don’t know that I would include Ruth’s e-mail in your daily update as it could appear as an attack and start a battle that you don’t need to be spending the energy to fight. However, I think some of the encouragement sent from Bill could be well used in the update.
I would encourage a note directly back to Ruth especially concerning the “I told you so” attitude that was conveyed. Hopefully in a kind way that would build up her faith… Anyway, my two cents…
REPLY FROM: Larry Vaughn
Sept 28 @ 6:59 PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You blessed me, and provided me a perspective to take that burden off my heart! You gotta love that Bill! Thank you again!
FROM: Pat
Sept 28 @ 5:35 PM
Hey Darlin! I don’t know about the rest of the “family”, but I’m planning a very nice Christmas this year, how about you? I see my husband everyday, and he’s a shell of what he was in July, but we aren’t thinking of what could happen, we’re planning on what is going to happen. I just want to fill Lea full of fatting goodies this Christmas, and set back and watch. Because with her skinny butt, she can get by with it, and I can’t! At least someone should enjoy all the fun! Right?
We have bad days, and we have good days, and I know sometimes I wish I could have our “ole” days back again, but we can’t, so you just have to put on your big girl panties, and deal with it! Because it could always be worse, and you and I know that it is going to get better! Heck, I still believe in Santa, and the fact that someday I’ll be a size 4, (even if it is in my dreams)!
You just give Miss Lea a big kiss and hug for me and Joe, and also Dave and Dottie too, OK? Things are getting a little better here today, as I’m sure Dave will fill you in on Joe’s bad ones so far, but he’s on additional med’s, and has been able to shed some of the fluid, so hopefully he’ll start to feel better.
He better, I keep reminding him that I’m really not nurse material, I just paint pictures, and play with flowers. Besides, I really don’t think I have any tears left, so things have to start going in the right direction, and they will!
I wish so much that we could come and stay with you for a little while, but that’s just not going to happen, so we’ll keep emailing and calling ok? Well, it’s bed time, and I have to get to bed, another day of work tomorrow.
Love ya guys!
FROM: Carol
Sept 28 @ 6:26 PM
When my mom (your aunt) was in the last days of her life our Uncle Bill told dad that he was going to bring in a specialist and make a few changes in mom’s treatment because after all she was his sister. Dad told him that he was well aware that she was his sister as well as his mother’s only daughter. At that point in time it was too late for a specialist (she was already in the care of a specialist) to do anything, (remember this was 1970) and all decisions had been made about mom’s care after discussions with Grandma, Sharon, and I. Then her brothers were updated and their concerns were taken into account.
However, dad reminded Uncle Bill that he was only 17 when mom and dad were married and they had been married for 34 years which meant that she had spent more of her life with him (dad) than she had her brothers, so as much as they loved her and were her family we (dad, Sharon, and I) were more her family than they were. It is sort of funny when you think about it, but very true.
I understand where the concerns are coming from. It is very hard to be there and watch what your loved one is going through everyday. But it must be equally as hard to know that someone very dear to you (sister/mother/cousin/friend) is fighting a battle that you can do nothing about.
You are helpless and hurting for them and all you hear is the daily report you read. Tensions can get very high in stressful conditions. We all wish it could just be over and Lea would be up and about. The struggle is ongoing and as long as there is hope we keep believing.
It is wonderful that Lea is touching so many people around the world and the love you two have/are sharing is enviable. But first and foremost is the testimony and witness to God our Father that is being shared with so many throughout this ordeal.
FROM: Herb Jr
Sept 28 @ 9:28 PM
Larry, (follow the link) you will find Lea’s name on the (church’s) prayer list. With Love and His Grace.
FROM: Randy
Sept 28 @ 10:41 PM
Hiya Larry! I have not written as much as I would have liked to but felt this one was a good topic on which to touch base. Before launching into that, I have to confess that your eloquence and composure in this trial is quite impressive. I doubt I would carry things off as well as you have in the current situation.
Now, let’s get down to the basics. I have to disagree with “anguished family member” and agree with the latter response – which I take to be to one of your sons. In fact, what I understand of the circumstances surrounding the discovery of Lea’s medical condition gives full evidence of Divine intervention. Plainly, – at least in my own fermented, rather, demented mind – discovering a critical medical emergency whilst coincidentally in a hospital is a downright miracle. And, a Miracle with a capital M at that.
I’ve heard folks claim we are past the age of miracles. These people are blind. Do they not wake up in the morning? Do they not see the stars? Do they not realize that every breath we take and every beat of our hearts are only due to our Heavenly Father’s will? How sad. Clearly, this time is a miraculous and divine communication. What other form of divine communication would we expect God to use? Postcards? Perhaps one nicely engraved with:
Dear Lea,
There is a problem with your pancreas.
Please go to a hospital.
Love,
your Spiritual Father
I’ve had other divine communications. None of which came under pleasant circumstances. I’ll take what ever I get. Rest assured, my good cousin, that I feel you are carrying out your part in this affair in full agreement with “The Plan” – whatever and wherever that leads. By the way, did I ever tell you our ggg(?) grandfather, David Vaughn, was a minister? Religiosity seems to run down the family line. Lea, your family and you remain ever present in my prayers. Be not weary.
REPLY FROM: Larry Vaughn
Sept 28 @ 10:50 PM
Bless you, Randy! Thank you for your perspective on this, and your kind words of encouragement. Theyhave given me great comfort. I can’t thank you enough! God’s blessings to you and the family.
FROM: Marjorie
Sept 28 @ 11:54 PM
Larry, you can only look to and believe in the goodness of your Lord. He and only he can direct you. I will be praying for you and Lea and ask for his blessing on you. In his LOVE. I am your Mother. Hugs and kisses.