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Lea has developed gallstones that cause her to be uncomfortable with abdominal pain ranging from minor to miserable practically all the time. Gallstones are clumps of hard matter that develop in the gallbladder or bile duct when certain substances harden. The gallbladder is a small sac located on the right-hand side of the body, on the underside of the liver. It is often today removed through a simple laparoscopic surgery (cholecystectomy) which removes the gallbladder through small incisions in the abdomen.
That surgery is not possible for Lea, because of the previous procedures performed during her acute necrotizing pancreatitis attack and recovery in Hartford in 2005-2006. The surgeons had initially given her only a fifteen percent chance of survival, and had enough complications to deal with in rescuing her major organs, they didn’t remove her gallbladder.
She has an eleven inch arched opening in the abdomen resulting from that initial surgery. In her case, the surgeons made an incision almost from hip to hip just below the ribs, and were not able to close it due to severe swelling. They had to let the wound heal from the inside out.
They removed skin from her thigh and stretched it over the bowels, stapling the graft to the upper and lower edges of the incision. She has had to wear an elastic wrap over her abdomen to keep her bowels from spilling out for the past thirteen years, removing it only to bathe. So, she has the constant pressure of the elastic wrap on her abdomen, and then when she has a meal, bread or pastry tends to swell as it absorbs liquids, squeezing the gallbladder. That can force a stone into the bile duct, which could trigger another pancreatitis attack the doctors have said she probably wouldn’t survive.
Consultations
We had consulted with several surgeons in recent years to inquire about getting the gallbladder removed, and they had each told us that they wouldn’t consider doing any surgical procedure except in emergency because it would be life threatening. The skin graft had grown attached to the bowels it covered, and trying to remove it to get to the gallbladder would likely tear holes in the bowels, exposing them to potential infection.
In late 2018, our primary care physician, Doctor Tony Aventa, referred us to a reconstructive surgeon with whom he had discussed her as a unique case. The doctors confirmed that she needs to undergo this procedure to avoid another pancreatitis attack.
We arranged a meeting in early 2019 to consult with the recommended surgeon, and found that he had already read through her case files, and also had discussed a possible procedure with a reconstructive plastic surgeon who specializes in difficult cases other surgeons shy away from for various reasons (mostly liability, I think). So, we later consulted with the plastic surgeon, and found that he, too, was willing, even excited, to do her gallbladder removal.
Because of her previous surgery, this would be five-or more hours of surgery to remove her skin graft, repair bowels that the graft is attached to, then lift the liver to access and remove the gall bladder. They said that they would reserve the surgical suite for the entire day in case there were unexpected complications. They would also require a highly qualified anesthesiologist due to the length of time she would be sedated, and highly skilled surgical nurses to assist with the many details of this precision surgery.
It is also possible that they may be able at that time to close up her ventral hernia, perhaps completely, by drilling into the lower rib bones, threading special cords through the holes, suturing to and pulling the muscle wall back up into, or near, their proper position. Following the surgery, there would be a two month, or more, recovery period, including extensive physical therapy to stretch and awaken the stomach muscles so she can stand erect again.
Alternatives
However, after much soul searching and prayer, she doesn’t feel that she is emotionally able to consider another major surgery, and doesn’t feel that she has the physical stamina to survive the follow-on physical therapy. So, while we were dealing with all the angst of that decision-making process, we were notified of a significant increase in rent when our apartment lease expires in April. The renewal rate is higher than we can afford for another year, so we began searching for alternatives.
We applied for financial/housing assistance through Travis County, but found that our social security income exceeds the county’s cutoff. They can only consider gross income, and can’t adjust for our extensive medical expenses. We also hired an apartment hunter to find us affordable housing in the Central Texas area so we could continue getting treatment by her current doctors, but, none became available for which we could qualify.
So, without the possibility of financial assistance, we have decided to move “back home” to Missouri when our lease expires. Lea still has a lot of family in our hometown area who can help me with caring for her, which will give me some time to pursue some personal interests. We have agreed to lease an affordable two bedroom, single bath, apartment back home that is a little smaller than what we have presently. So, we’re downsizing again.
This is not a move that I, personally, am looking forward to making, considering that we have to find new doctors. But, it is what she wants, so that she can be with her family. She left home with me when we married fifty-five years ago, and we have always lived away from them. She has decided that she wants to go “back home,” and I feel that I owe her that after all she has been through. Even though we will be leaving our medical professionals, and relocating where medical services of the same quality are not as available, I feel that I am being led to make this move.
I think it likely the Lord has found another use for us there. He will have His hand in all that we do, and the decisions we make. I have prayed much, and realize that this is probably our final chapter, and this is what my Lord wants me to do with it. I get this feeling that He is making me “buck up,” face the future, and pass through this door He has opened. And, through that open door is all of our friends and family beckoning us to “come back home.” That is a heartwarming sight! Turn the page. New chapter.
Lea once said to our adult children, “We are going to simplify, simplify, simplify!” We led very busy adult lives. She had been vice president of a national mortgage company, and supervised a large staff. I had operated a number of businesses over the years, sometimes two at a time. We had been homeowners for several decades, accumulating all the “stuff” that goes with it, served our communities through service in organizations such as Lions International, and operated a Victorian-era bed and breakfast. And, we had no idea how prophetic her words would become.
Former Asher Walton House B&B
Asher G. Walton built our twelve room home as a private residence circa 1868. Possessing many examples of fine European craftsmanship, the hardwoods used throughout the home, and the Bavarian marble fireplaces added warmth and charm to the breakfast, parlor and drawing rooms. Victorian baths featured claw foot tubs. We loved the house, and the business, but took a break to vacation with friends in Prospect Harbor, Maine in 2005.
While returning home from that vacation, a thousand miles away on the East coast, Lea was struck down with necrotizing pancreatitis and spent six months in Hartford Hospital. Three of those months she was in a drug induced coma, and on a ventilator to keep her breathing. She had 32 debriding surgeries to remove dying tissue from her various organs, while her body was being filled with intravenous fluids to weaken the acids that were attacking her body. When she was brought out of the coma she had a hip-to-hip ventral hernia that could not be closed up, was atrophied due to loss of muscle mass, and had to learn to walk again through intensive physical therapy.
Friends and family stepped in back home to move much of our household goods into storage so the B&B could be sold to help cover our expenses. Her Mustang convertible was sold, my life’s savings were depleted, and her group life insurance exceeded her lifetime limit and would cover no more expenses. We had to fly home on a commercial airline with her still draining pancreatic fluids through her abdomen, and too weak to take more than a few steps at a time.
Family and friends arranged housing for us in an assisted living facility in a town near our former B&B, the town where our household goods were stored. After a few weeks of recovery, my brother and sister-in-law purchased a home they could rent to us on very liberal terms. I worked part time delivering career consulting via webinars for Lee Hecht Harrison, while Lea’s long term disability income started, as she had reached retirement during her hospital stay. We gave our family truckloads of furnishings from the B&B that had been stored, and had a couple of garage sales to clear out even more.
About a year later, we moved into a three bedroom single-story home with a modest lawn. Lea had recovered enough that she tried a little flower pot gardening on the rear deck, and we got to do some babysitting with our infant grandson, which really helped her regain a lot of her mental acuity as her motherly instincts kicked in. During 2008, we decided that a good mental exercise for her would be to publish our recipes as a Christmas gift for our families. She had dozens of recipes that we had used over the years. and still others were developed while we had the B&B.
We started cooking, double-checking accuracy of the recipes, and photographing the results. At first she needed quite a bit of help remembering procedures and processes, but eventually, the Lord strengthened her and opened a door for us to cook for fellowship dinners for 50 or more attending bible study and/or choir practice on Wednesday nights. The church had a nice, though modest, commercial kitchen adjacent to the fellowship hall, designed so that we could prepare and then serve meals through a large pass-through window.
We had already published our recipes at http://morecooking. net for that Christmas in 2008, and now we had the opportunity to scale them up for 50 and 100 portions for large groups and publish those at http://cooking4groups.wordpress.com. But, b the fall months of 2015 she began to have severe pain in her lower back/hip area, and we had to discontinue cooking for the church. In March of the following year she had a hip replaced, and during physical therapy for that, she began having severe pain in her lower back that made her uncomfortable while simply riding in the car.
Meanwhile, the house we were renting had been sold, and the closing/move-in date was approaching. We had decided that we were going to have to move into an apartment which would require less labor, and had arranged to have an estate sale the month before the new owner’s move-in date. The week before the estate sale was scheduled to be held, the auctioneer notified us that he was going to have to cancel, leaving us with very few options with the amount of time we had left! Discussing our options, we found that less stressful was to donate almost all of our household goods to our church family. We held an open house for them, and let them carry away everything that we hadn’t tagged for use in the apartment or to be stored.
Lea’s pain continued to increase, and she gave up driving. Eventually, she couldn’t even ride in the car without suffering. She had to hold herself steady by grasping tightly onto the handgrip above her seat. Just going to the doctor wore her out, and all unnecessary road trips were from then on avoided. During an exam for her annual physical, the doctor determined that her gall bladder was causing a lot of the pain in the general area of the hip that had been replaced, and sent her to a specialist to see about having it removed.
Danielle, Lea and Chris outside Hartford Hospital, November 14, 2005
The surgeon determined that she could not have abdominal surgery, and that her gall bladder could not be removed, because of the surgeries and subsequent healing that resulted from the necrotizing pancreatitis. He felt that potential peritonitis leading to sepsis and septic shock was just too great. Two additional surgeons we consulted agreed. So, she was prescribed a gall bladder medication that is rarely used today because of the simplicity of removing the gall bladder endoscopically. She was told that she would just have to tolerate the pain.
As the medication started to take effect, she noticed that her left hip was hurting in much the same way the right hip had before it was replaced, so we went back to consult with that surgeon. He discovered, through an xray, that it was not her hip that was hurting her, but her lower spine. An subsequent exam revealed that the discs in her back were, in some cases, only 20% of their original thickness, compressing the nerves. She was in constant, debilitating, pain. After a few diagnostic visits to a spine specialist, she was given an ablation treatment to temporarily kill the nerves between some of the lower vertebrae. The treatment reduced her pain by about 70%, and was the greatest relief she had experienced in the past three years.
We are told that the treatment works for up to a year for some patients, but, for others, the nerves grow back more quickly. We hope for the former, but realize that it is all part of God’s plans, and that he is using us for His purposes. We probably won’t know what those are until we arrive in heaven and have that “ah hah!” moment when it all becomes clear. Meanwhile, we give thanks to God for his provision and guidance, and submit ourselves to be used according to His will.
When we allow the Holy Spirit to enlighten our hearts to know the hope to which He has called us, we become better equipped to encourage our loved ones faith and spiritual growth. The apostle Paul, who, while a prisoner, said, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4 NIV). We submit ourselves to the Lord’s sovereign plan and tender mercies, trusting Him to be faithful. After all, He did it for us: “Simplify, simplify, simplify.”
Integrity is keeping a commitment even after circumstances have changed. ~ David Jeremiah
This is the right time for me to give a little testimony that, hopefully, will have meaning for you. I recently loss my employment as a content writer due to downsizing, and immediately went into damage control mode. Double checking our debts, liquid and fixed assets, and how long we should be able to “make it” until the Lord opens the next employment door for us.
We had run into dry spells before, where we felt a financial crunch, and had to adjust our budget. I had always abstained from reducing our tithe, because I told myself, “That’s God’s money.” We have conciously been living beyond our means in order to provide Lea with the lifestyle that makes her comfortable. Occasionally we would draw down on our savings to make up for the shortfalls.
Now, with only one more paycheck coming in, I felt I had to take drastic action. One of the things I did to control our situation was to stop the drafts on my checking account for my tithe. We then headed out for a long-planned visit to our oldest son’s home. The night after our arrival, he had a mid-week church function, and asked if we would give a five minute testimony. The audience was made up of young married couples, many with children, who had just finished a series of studies entitled, “The Art of Marriage.”
I gave a very high level explanation of the trials Lea and I went though in Hartford, and one of the revelations God gave me during that test; that there is a difference between the body and the spirit. I had always thought I was in love with Lea as a beautiful woman, and thought of that woman as a beautiful body. But, when she was in a coma for several weeks, I discovered that while her body was there in that hospital bed, and tended to it everyday, Lea wasn’t there. She was gone, and wasn’t back in that body until weeks later. It took the Lord beating me over the head, but I finally got it; It is her spirit that I am in love with, and her body is how I can love on her spirit.
That weekend, while attending services at their church, the pastor spoke on “control,” and how we try to take control instead of trusting in God to care for us. I felt a little twinge of guilt, because I had just stopped my tithes. He then stung me again, because he talked about our tithes being “first fruits,” and that we should give to the church first, so God can do his work, and that he will provide for us. Ouch! He stung me again! He said that we need to be able to trust in the Lord, step back, continue in our faithfulness, and let the Lord have control.
This reminded me of one of my favorite verses in times like this; 1 Samuel 12:24 – “Only fear the LORD and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you.” If you’ve read our journal pages here on the site, or listened to our testimony on our church’s website, you already know what great things he did for us in Hartford, and there have been many more blessings since then, as well. Praise God! Amen.
Our pastor, Dr. Ken Baldwin, says, “One of the ways for us to measure commitment is by what it takes to make us quit. There are some things we should never quit. Our commitment to Jesus…to His Church…to His work…to our family and our marriage…to telling others about Him; and, many more. Integrity is being the right person and doing the right things. Never quitting on both of those is true commitment. We each have weaknesses, but God is our strength. Is today the day that we start again to be and do the right things? God has never quit on us. We should keep our commitment to Him.”
The Lord put all these things in front of me just after I stopped the automatic tithe deposits. I got the message! I reinstated the payments, just as it should be, and now wait patiently for the Lord to open the next door.
Lord, you gave your all for me; can I do any less for you, and call myself a committed Christian? Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. Forgive me my shortcomings of commitment and faith. Use me according to your will. In Jesus’ name. Amen!
On September 11th an American flag should be displayed outside every home, apartment, office, and store in the United States . Every individual should make it their duty to display an American flag on this anniversary of one our country’s worst tragedies in 2001. We do this to honor those who lost their lives on 9/11, their families, friends and loved ones who continue to endure the pain and those who today are fighting at home and abroad to preserve our cherished freedoms.
In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, our country was bathed in American flags as citizens mourned the incredible losses and stood shoulder-to-shoulder against terrorism, and prayed for God’s healing grace. Sadly, those flags have all but disappeared over the years.
Our patriotism pulled us through some tough times on and after 9/11, and it shouldn’t take another attack to galvanize us in solidarity. Our American flag is the fabric of our country and together we can prevail over terrorism of all kinds
Action Plan:
So, here’s what we need you to do ..
(1) Take a moment to think back to how you felt on 9/11 and let those sentiments guide you.
(2) Fly an American flag of any size on 9/11. Honestly, Americans should fly the flag year-round, but if you don’t, then at least make it a priority on this day.
Thank you for your participation. God Bless You and God Bless America !
Surviving God's Woodshed 