I thank God for the blessing of being able to report another pretty good day for Lea, although we suffered what we hope was only a minor setback at the end of the day. Through His grace she was able to spend nearly an entire day breathing on her own, with the ventilator in a support role when she needed help. By six o’clock this evening she had completed 18 hours, and had been able to continue with support decreased substantially.
Plans were to let her go as long as she could reasonably sustain the effort on her own, and then put her back into rest mode. Unfortunately, at about six this evening her lungs suddenly just quit absorbing sufficient levels of oxygen. Lea was still trying, but she wasn’t able to go on without assistance. So she went back on high levels of ventilator support, and was immediately scheduled for a chest X-Ray and a bronchial procedure to extract mucous from inside the lungs. The procedure was done at 8:15, and produced only small amounts of fluid, so fluid was not the cause of the problem. Her oxygenation, though, had already improved some, so we’ll see how she does with some rest.
The hope is that she can take over the breathing chore on her own within the next few days, but she is currently having trouble sustaining good oxygenation on her own. This may indicate another accumulation of fluid around the lungs in the chest cavity, a problem that has occurred twice before, or some other problem with which we must deal. There really should be no reason she couldn’t resume breathing on her own, barring complications caused by the pancreatitis.
Her narcotic medications were dropped back a little again today. The Dilaudid was reduced to 2.4 ml/hr, while the Ativan is down to 10.0 ml/hr. She is still, however, heavily sedated, and mostly unresponsive. We think will still have about two to three weeks left in intensive care if nothing major goes wrong. She still has to overcome tonight’s setback and regain full use of her lungs, she has to kick her narcotic habit, she has to get her stomach closed up, and she has to get her digestive system working properly.
Dr. Amanda Ayers, one of Dr. Mah’s associates changed Lea’s dressing mid-afternoon, and said that things are still on track for getting the abdomen closed up within the next week or so. She has a large drain in her stomach, and there is still some dark fluid being flushed from inside the wound, but it is really looking pretty good. She will need to have a skin graft to complete the closing.
I feel that we are pretty close to being able to turn the corner toward recovery, and keep thinking that we only have a couple more hurdles to get past. I grieve in my soul for Lea when I witness the pain and discomfort she is going through, but I still have faith that she is going to be returned to us, and that she won’t remember the pain she is experiencing. Even if we should lose her, I wouldn’t give up one single moment I have been able to spend with her during her hospitalization. It has been my privilege to be here helping her, giving back to her the selfless love she has given me during our years together.
It brings tears to my eyes, and sadness to my heart, to even think that I might have to go on without her, and I don’t have any idea how I could survive that loss since our lives are so tightly intertwined. I pray that God will not make me learn that lesson. I pray that He wants Lea and me to continue ministering for Him as a couple, and that she will be returned to us very soon, delivered through the skills of the medical professionals caring for her moment to moment, day by day.
I pray that God will forgive me of my many weaknesses; that He will help me overcome the sin of pride, and that He show me His will for my life. I kneel at His feet and humbly ask that Lea, miraculously healed, be made a part of His direction for the rest of my life. I pray for her survival and full recovery, and pledge myself to her care and protection in the years to come. I pledge us to His service and glory in the role He sets out for us. I pray that these things be granted for my own benefit, and for the benefit of so many others whose lives Lea has touched. By the grace of His blood, shed for me, I pray. Amen
Surviving God's Woodshed 
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March 28, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Pray-ers
DAY SIXTY-TWO
FROM: Pastor Jerry
TO: Pam
Sept 15 @ 12:16 PM
Pam, I need to ask permission for something of a sensitive nature. This week my topic is the healing ministry of Jesus. Obviously this topic will deal with the role of faith, God’s sovereignty ie. his divine plan for us. I really believe that these emails from Larry are a window into the way God wants us to respond during a time when he chooses not to act with immediate miraculous and complete healing, such as the case with Jesus. Would it be okay to share some of his comments regarding his faith in God during this time, which by the way is incredible. We need to not try to figure out the plan of God, just accept while not putting him in a box or formula. The toughest part for me will be to articulate Larry’s faith and getting through it. Let me know ASAP.
REPLY FROM: Pam
CC: Larry Vaughn
Sept 15 @ 1:39 PM
Jerry, I know that Larry wouldn’t hesitate to allow you to use any part of his experience. I can’t wait to hear the sermon! (Larry, Jim and I have been attending First Christian Church here in Wilmington, for the past year or so. Jerry is the Pastor.)
REPLY FROM: Larry Vaughn
Sept 15 @ 4:53 PM
Pam, Absolutely! But, I want a copy of the sermon. If I can get it electronically, I will distribute it to Lea’s list, which is now well over 100. Then, of course, those folks are sending to eight or ten folks who are sending to eight or ten folks, etc. I will give the author full credits, of course. This has been an amazing . . can I call it a ministry? . . . for me. I just read the 40 Day Journey last year. I think I may have to write the 80 Day Lesson Plan of Trust this year! I will need someone with a much broader theological understanding to put it all into perspective for me. 🙂
FROM: Pam
TO: Vaughn Family
Sept 15 @ 3:56 PM
Jerry is the Pastor at First Christian Church here in Wilmington, where Jim and I attend worship services. Jerry send an earlier email to me asking if he could use Larry/Lea as examples in his sermon for this Sunday, I responded that I felt Larry wouldn’t hesitate to agree. I’m forwarding Jerry’s request for prayer support for that service to each of you. Please pray that Jerry is able to put forth the message that God is leading him to.
——-Original Message——-
FROM: Pastor Jerry
Sept 15 @ 2:48
Friends, This Sunday (9-18) I am covering a topic that I am sure will be relevant to you, or someone close to you. The topic is on the healing ministry of Jesus, and focusing on how this is manifested today. As I have studied this week the weight of this topic has increased in my heart. We all deal with sickness and death and really would like to know what role faith plays in our requests for God to heal and/or save us or loved ones. My encouragement for you this Sunday is to think about someone who might need to hear this relevant message. It could be someone who is currently grieving from loss, or suffering themselves from an illness. I don’t intend to answer all of the tough questions, but do plan to present the response God wants from each one of us. By the way, pray that I can articulate this in a manner that will touch somebody.
REPLY FROM: Link
Sept 15 @ 5:11 PM
Cool. Amazing how God works, huh?
FROM: Vicki
Sept 15 @ 11:22 AM
Larry, first off, God Bless you or should I say God has blessed you. I cannot tell you what your emails have meant to Richard and me . We understand what it is like to have death rattling the door trying to get in. You are holding on, praying for the miracle. I received mine in January with the remission. It was after 4 years though, God runs on his clock not mine! I am sure it was his lesson of patience which I sorely lacked! I have emailed your letters of love to many of friends and prayers groups. They have called your writings that because the Love for Lea and God are tangible in these letters. I will get email asking about them. It is a miracle of spectacular proportions in many ways.
Your letters have enlightened others into a place that most do not get to go. When you face the possibility of your physical self departing this “life” you have no more things to hide. You can share easily the feeling that brought you together, keep you together. The beauty and purity of your love for each other cannot get lost in the everyday “priorities” of soccer, basketball, work, bills, whatever you put in front of yourselves, the way life gets in the way. What a gift you have given people! I know Lea would be busting with pride for the lessons you have passed on.
I had a similar situation with my Mom. She had open heart, had a pulmonary embolism plus other complications, was in a chemically induced coma for 48 days (respirator included). I still remember her while body react when the suctioned out the lungs. Like I tell her today, you may not remember but I will never forget. It took her over a year to even resemble what she was before the illness. When she started to wake up she wanted to know what happened but she could not speak. She would try to write it out on my chest but she would only do circles. It was very desperate for me because I wanted to give her the answers but the counselors had told me not to tell her too much up front. She would not remember what you said, then they get upset when you tell them.
I have listed the places I have sent the emails. Everyone said it was OK to pass on so here goes:
Noblesville, IN, Jacksonville, Fl, Chana, IL, Miami, FL, Bogota, Columbia, Provincia de Goizueta, Spain, Barcelona, Spain, Madrid, Spain, Washington D.C., Manassas, VA, Pompano Beach, FL, Rio Negro, Columbia, Chicago, IL, Cleveland, OH, Orlando, Fl
I give you my prayers. My friends and family pass them on as well. We will continue to ask for her recovery and your strength. Have you talked to the counselors or nurses on how to address her questions when she comes awake? I do not write with the eloquence that you do. So I hope you feel the love that surrounds you and your family! We remain linked by prayer.
REPLY FROM: Larry Vaughn
Sept 19 @ 8:47 PM
Vickie, May I use your letter in one of the updates? I will, of course, take out the surname, etc. Thanks for the wonderful note. It is very touching, and uplifting! Warmest regards.
REPLY FROM: Vickie
Sept 19 @ 8:47 PM
Larry, With all you are handling, thank you for the response. Of course you may use anything you feel would be of value. I am grateful for everyday I have to spend with my family and friends. When I started my journey with Cancer, I had only a 10% percent survival rate after 5 years. Stage 4 lung cancer has pretty grim survival rates. I endured all for the love I have for my family. I could not leave Richard and my children. I was hanging on with every fiber of my soul, even when the pain was excruciating and the chemo was ravaging my insides, trying to kill me. God granted me a reprieve. With all the narcotics and sustaining drugs Lea is taking her soul is hanging on with every fiber, because of her love for you and the family. We women are programmed that way. Our loves are part of the soul that makes us whole.
The Letters of Love are an honor to God. His teachings are about the love He wants us to have for each other. Cast them to the winds, let the seeds sow into the heart of all who are listening and sitting cyberly with you in the hospital. We are all with you and the whole family. Sorry for the ramblings, but I want to give you hope that all of our prayers will be answered. Lea will come back to you and the family. It will be hard going at first but every day is precious. Richard and my loves are extended to you and warmly send an embrace,
FROM: David
Sept 15 @ 11:31PM
Update (on Karen’s family).
—-Original Message Follows—-
FROM: Karen
Sep 13 @ 8:06 AM
HI, just a update this morning regarding my sister Glenda and brother Bill, Glenda had been testing for the last month to see if she could be a candidate for my brother who is in need of a kidney, she went to Madison, Wisconsin for the major part of the testing two weeks ago on Monday, we finally heard yesterday, that she can not be a candidate, she showed up in some of the testing that she is in early stages of diabetes. That is the reason that Bill had to have the transplant 7 years ago, so they said it would be to much of a risk for Glenda to help out. There are a few more people willing to test as we speak, Bill’s two sons are testing also and we’ll see where we go from here. Please keep Bill in your prayers as we know that prayer works.!!!!!!!!!