Today was a pretty good day for Lea. We didn’t make any real forward progress today, but we didn’t take any steps back either. All in all she remained pretty stable. The medical team wasn’t willing to do much for fear that the results of anything they tried could just as easily turn out badly as produce favorable results. So, we maintained status quo throughout the day. The only change planned for tonight is the introduction of some plain water into her stomach to see if her intestines are able to absorb it.
Meanwhile, she remains on the rotating bed, and I get a pretty good workout trying to talk to her. J I “showed” her some home videos today, including an October 2003 tour of our home, the Asher Walton House, she did for the local cable television station. The program is all about our beautiful home and the history as best we know it back to its construction in 1868. It was great fun living there, and we adored the lifestyle we were able to share.
I was thinking about that lifestyle and how the next chapter of our lives will be different. I was wondering what the next steps might be, knowing that she will probably want to go back to work as soon as she can. She has a wonderful family of friends and co-workers at the company where she has worked for nineteen years, and I am certain she will want to return. But, I also know that she is going to have several months of rehabilitation. Much of the time she will have to be in a wheelchair.
As I thought about those things, and the uncertainty of what lies ahead, I also thought about a question someone asked in a conversation earlier this week, relating to why good people have to suffer. It reminded me of a reader’s submitted question I read in a recent publication. It was something like: “If God’s will is always going to be done according to an infallible and unchangeable plan, why do His believers ray for mercy when someone special to them gets sick?”
I’m no theologian, and I’m probably going to get in way over my head, but I’d like to share with you some of the things that came to mind as I considered why a person as sweet, loving and giving as Lea is would have to go through something like this illness she is suffering through.
Perhaps a part of the Master Plan is for people like Lea, who have positively affected so many people, to become so ill that those who love her ask others they know to pray for her recovery, and it is the people who pray for her, and ask others to do the same, who really do the Lord’s work is achieving some small piece of the Master Plan.
Perhaps it isn’t the prayers that change the will of God. Perhaps it is the power of faith observed by other weak believers, or non-believers, that bring others closer to God that is the real power of prayer. Perhaps it always was God’s will that she survive. Perhaps His plan is to bring her home to receive her reward. That Master Plan isn’t going to be changed. But, what will be changed, because of her “ministry,” the hearts she has touched over the years, the affection she has earned from others, will help many others.
I receive notes from many who read these updates that the situation Lea and I are going through has caused them to pause to reflect on their own marital situation, and they are working on improving that relationship, starting by saying those things that need to be said between life partners. Many have stated that they have had their eyes opened to the miracles God works in our everyday lives. Others talk about being moved closer to God. Maybe that is the real power of prayer.
I don’t know whether Lea will survive, but I know that God’s will is being served. I know that I have witnessed the power of prayer a number of times during Lea’s ordeal. The doctors and nurses are very much aware of the love and affection directed toward Lea. The nurses listen with affection as I read your cards and emails to her. The doctors have said many times that they have marveled at the healing that has been done.And, they have seen me pray at Lea’s bedside, my forehead touching hers, my hand resting gently on some part of her arm that doesn’t have a needle stuck into it.
They have seen her room decorated with the loving gifts sent to her, the bulletin boards covered with greetings and well wishes. Often one of the nurses assigned to another patient, will stop in Lea’s room just to touch her arm for a moment and tell her that she is doing real well.
She is touching hearts. The love and devotion that surrounds her is touching souls. Perhaps this is what her illness is all about . . . letting others see what the power of prayer is all about. I know that I have been moved many times by the sheer number of wonderful people who have sent notes of encouragement and love. I feel privileged to have had her in my life, just as you have.
For those of you who haven’t known her, only meeting her through these updates, you may have received these updates through someone who loves you enough to share them with you. If so, you have experienced the power of Christian love and compassion.
I, for one, an humbled by this experience, and am awed by the power of prayer and the willingness of folks like yourself who have joined the prayer battle for healing. Those prayers, I think, must surely be the most powerful prayers, because they come from people who don’t even know Lea, but are often offered up because of the love felt for that person for whom they are praying. That is selfless. That is Christian love.
My prayers, on the other hand, are filled with bias. I can’t pray for her on a purely spiritual level, because I want her to be delivered from this illness for my benefit. I don’t want to lose her. But, whether I get to have her back or not, I know that I will love her forever. And, I will thank God for having made her a part of my life.
May God bless you, and richly reward you for lifting Lea up to Him for His healing.
Sincerely,
Larry
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March 28, 2007 at 10:06 am
Pray-ers
DAY THIRTY-SIX
FROM: Bruce
Aug 20 @ 7:56 AM
Dear Larry, I don’t have a lot of memories of you and Lea, being I was so young when your family lived up on Vermont hill. One memory I do have is something about someone not liking their sandwiches and putting them behind the refrigerator and from my memories it seems Lea was exposing them, but from that one memory I have always surmised that Lea was a very sweet person. I really admire your faithfulness and devotion to Lea, and I hope and pray continually for both of you and your family, and read each update. She does have a wonderful smile. That was a very good picture of you two in Maine. I hope for the best, and may God bless you and her.
FROM: Lance
Aug 20 @ 1:27 AM
That’s hilarious, Dad! I can’t tell you the number of people that have shared with me how impressed they have been with your writing. You’re really touching a lot of people with these, you know. And I can actually sense changes in a few. Kristin’s Dad, for one. We were having dinner Thursday night and he was telling me how much you amaze him — not only your ability to put words to your feelings and share them with others, but oh, how you truly adore Mom! He’s really blown away.
The whole time he was telling us this, he had his hand on Marlowe’s shoulder and back. As insignificant as that sounds, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the two touch one another until then. Strange. It was then that I realized that I had my hand on Kristin’s shoulder and was softly rubbing her back from time to time. It was neat to think that maybe he was learning from you and I that it’s okay to show a little affection from time to time.
He was really reaching out to me throughout dinner last night, telling jokes and glancing over at me to see if I was smiling. It seemed as though he genuinely wanted to take my mind off of things for a while. It was nice. Later, when he hugged me, it was a little longer than usual and a little more affectionate than ever before. He said he was so sorry, so sorry, and he got a little teary-eyed. It was one of those times when I found myself later wishing that I had hugged him longer… and waited for him to let go, you know?
Well, I’m just kind of rambling now, but I wanted you to know that your writing tonight was totally delightful. It’s the next best thing to being there with the two of you. I loved the imagery of you and the bed. LOL. I can just picture it! It definitely helps that mother is doing better. Oh, my. I can’t tell you. I’ve been a mess the last few days. I think my soul was cracking open before I finally handed it over to God. I stayed up all night Tuesday night pouring my heart out into a spiritual journal. Anyway, more on that later. Just please do me a huge favor and let Mom know that I love her and I have been praying so much for her that I’m about to drive myself crazy.
Here is a prayer that I wrote for Mom. Perhaps you could read it to her. It’s a work in progress. 😉 I nearly have it memorized!
Holy and Almighty God, you are awesome, glorious, and majestic. THANK YOU, LORD, for the countless blessings you share with us every day. Thank you for the gift of this life on Earth, the gift of fellowship and compassion and prayer, and most of all, the gift of eternal life in heaven. Lord, we thank you for blessing us with the miracle of our angel, Leona Marie. She has touched so many of us so deeply with her genuine ways and heavenly grace.
I must confess, Lord, that I have struggled with understanding the purpose of her suffering and the grief it has caused for so many who care for her. But after much praying and fellowship, I now have renewed faith that your plan for her, though extremely difficult to appreciate, is truly perfect. I trust that you, Lord, are in control of all things, and that your plan for us is the most perfect plan, the only plan. If you choose to take my mother home at such a young age, I have to believe that in your infinite wisdom, you know that doing so will better serve you than if you were to let her stay with us longer. Lord, I must confess that I find this hard to fathom, but with all my might I will embrace it as best I can.
Lord, I humbly ask that you lift up my father and fill his heart with your love. He needs you now more than ever and we ask that you continue to guide him, support him, and comfort him by sharing with him your wisdom in these emotional times. Please, God, I pray for your healing mercy for my mother, our angel, Leona Marie. Your will be done. In Jesus’ name, Amen. I love you, Dad! You’re my hero!!
FROM: Gayle
Aug 20 @ 8:23 AM
Hi Larry, Just want you to know I appreciate the update emails. I know things are tough now and you are always in our prayers (both of you), but you have our support and love. So many decisions have fallen to you but you are doing what is right for your family and that is the most important thing. Lea will stand behind your every decision-I feel sure of that. Maybe we can have a concert of love songs when all is well again and we can have that great big party!!! I am looking forward to the best reunion this world has ever seen!!
FROM: Karen
Aug 20 @ 8:35 AM
Hi, just a note to let you know that we deeply appreciate your sending these daily updates. I am sure that God is trying his hardest to keep Lea with us and that the prayers are working, but somedays I just don’t understand why he can’t take away the pain and suffering all together to give her some peace to be able to relax for a while. I hope that this wonder drug will do the trick, no one deserves it more than Lea, the fighting that she has done, shows her strength is incredible, but on the otherhand I hope that the doctor’s can assure us that she feels total rest in-between the pain.This has to be so scary for everyone that has fought the battle with her this long we want only the best for her. Larry you need to take care of yourself also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish that we were closer and able to take some of the burden away from you for a while. You know that we are holding both of you in the palm of our hands and continue to pray for whatever God’s plan is to give you both the strength to get thru these terribly hard days. Take Care, We love you all dearly. Later