Monthly Archive

Lea continues to be in stable condition tonight. She hasn’t made any progress on the ventilator, however, and the doctor is concerned why that is so. Earlier today he requested an ultrasound of her chest to see if there was additional build up of fluid in the chest cavity preventing the lungs from expanding fully. A few weeks ago nearly two liters of fluid was siphoned off her chest cavity which allowed her to make rapid improvement.

The ultrasound today, however, did not show any build up of fluids. At least, not enough to siphon off. So, after some discussion with colleagues, Dr. Mah talked to me about doing a full body CATSCAN. You may recall that he has wanted to do a CATSCAN for several weeks, but would not do it because of the potential damage to the kidneys caused by the contrast dye. He said today, however, that the time has come that he feels we need to do the test to find out what her problem is, and begin treating it.

He proposed doing a full body CATSCAN, from neck to pelvis, so we could look at all areas of concern with one scan. That means only having to use the contrast dye one time, and reducing the possibility of kidney damage. He said that we would be flushing her out with lots of fluids as soon as the procedure was complete. He felt that this is a necessary step, and that our hands will be rather tied if we don’t do it. I approved the test, and it was completed between 5 and 6 tonight.

I visited with Lea back in her room afterwards, and read to her from a magazine I received today. She was pretty heavily sedated, because she made painful facial grimaces and stiffened up when the team moved her from her regular bed to the CATSCAN table and back. She was resting well when I left the hospital. Her ventilator support had been turned up to a level that will allow her to get complete rest by not having to breathe for herself at all tonight.

I will meet with Dr. Mah tomorrow morning, after he has had a chance to review the CATSCAN results, to discuss the course of treatment from this point forward. There may be some additional treatment required that we weren’t aware of before, and it could be just the ticket to get her solidly on the road to recovery.

She continues to amaze me. When I am at her bedside, I can’t help but feel her strength. She quickly tires from the breathing exercises, and I know she has to be SO tired of being turned, pushed, rolled, probed, stuck, poked, moved, adjusted, stuck, pulled, hurt, bored and stuck. But, my, she is strong! She is fighting! And, like the doctors said early on, we can’t focus on day to day, but rather, look week to week to see how far we’ve come. And we’ve already come a great distance. Praise God!

One of my sisters, Pam, spent last week here in Hartford with me to lend some much-needed moral and physical support (Thank you, Pam). She recently copied me on an email to one of our family members who was asking about how I am holding up, and she had some really insightful comments that I’d like to share with you.

“Something he (Larry) didn’t pass along in an email was Dr. Mah’s statement in response to a question raised by one of Lea’s siblings pertaining to Lea and if her condition was bad enough to remove life support. He stated emphatically that “We aren’t there yet, we haven’t ever been there, we weren’t even there last Friday.” (That was the day her lungs failed, about two weeks ago.) It certainly was good to hear him speak positively of Lea’s condition.

I believe Lea is alive and well, trapped inside a non-cooperating body, so to speak. I know that she responds to Larry and I know that he believes this as well. I think he’s stating his innermost fear felt during a moment of weakness – something he and I discussed briefly when I was there. (I admit to having a fleeting moment of that same thought, even though I knew/know better.)

It’s so disheartening to go so long without any response, especially with the one you’re used to receiving open affection from. I tried to use my brief (surgical) experience to reassure Larry that you can truly hear when others talk, feel when they touch you – you simply lack the ability to respond . . . or maybe you respond an hour or so later when no one is there to see. Time truly has no meaning to you, everything is moment by moment inside the sedation.

I can only imagine what it’s like for Larry to spend such a long time caressing Lea, speaking words of love, maintaining daily those things that require it – brushing her teeth, combing her hair, washing her body and rubbing lotion everywhere that’s exposed – without any response. It’s heartbreaking to witness, to say the least.

But Lea does respond to Larry’s voice – visibly, even when she’s most sedated. I hope I reassured Larry that when he’s looking at her face, whispering words of love into her ears, I was focused on her monitor and could see the difference his voice alone makes to her. (I felt these were intimate times and chose to concentrate on the monitor rather than their “private” time.)

Once, when her blood pressure was alarmingly high, I saw it drop 15 (points?) at the sound of his voice when he was discussing her with one of the nurses, and then continue to lower – something the nurse had just told me would happen when Larry started talking and suggested that I watch the monitor while he involved Larry in a discussion.

Another time, I watched as her pulse jumped 11 points when he touched her gently just above the knee on her left leg, and saw a very brief response where she lifted both her eyebrows as if she was a little surprised/embarrassed by his touch in that particular spot – then I watched as it dropped when he moved away a few moments later. I saw her eyes pop wide open when I’d been there alone with her for a couple of hours, thinking she was again heavily sedated, and Larry walked in and said “Hello darling, how’s my girl?”. I know his fatigue is overwhelming at times, saw it when I first arrived in fact. His strength is there, he taps into it frequently, but he (like all of us, I think) is strongest when he presses into God. I see that happening even more with this email message.

I can’t help but wonder if he hit a day when there was no return email to encourage him, or perhaps no cards to read to Lea. I know that is one of his secret fears, that people will quit sending words and cards of encouragement to them. (Thank you so much for the cards you’ve sent!) He gets so excited when he has mail to read to Lea, talks to her just as if she were awake – holds things up for her to “look at”, describes the pictures on the cards, reminds her who the person/people are that have sent it because the doctors have said that some of her medication will cause confusion and maybe some forgetfulness. (They like it that way, so that she won’t remember everything that she’s going through while in ICU.)

Guess what I’m really saying is that I believe very strongly that Lea is there, hearing every word her beloved whispers to her and feeling every touch. She is so strong, her inner strength is constantly there, constantly hearing, constantly feeling, surprising us all with her baby steps of progress. I was almost jumping for joy when I once asked her to blink her eyes and she did so, almost immediately. It was a secret prayer of mine, that was answered the day before I returned home.”

And, so it goes. Little steps of progress. You just can’t overlook the wonderful blessings bestowed on us because of your efforts at lifting Lea up in prayer. We have seen miracles worked through this terrible illness . . . some of the miracles have been worked on Lea, and we have seen other miracles worked in the lives of others who have examined their own compassion through this ordeal.

I can’t thank you enough for you kindnesses, your selflessness, and your expressions of love. We love getting your notes and letters, and we enjoy reading them together. I am also saving them in a binder so Lea can read them when she wakes up. What a glorious day that will be! Glory to God for miraculous healing.

Warmest regards,

Larry

Lea continues to struggle tonight, as she is being asked to take on more of the chore of breathing for herself. The ventilator support was turned down a little at around midnight last night, requiring her to work a little for each breath. The ventilator is always there for support, but she has to initiate the breath, and the vent will help her complete it if necessary.

The workload tired her after a few hours, and her blood pressure rose up in the 160-170s over 40s and 50s, but she did well. The machine is set to support her at a level of 10 peeps, and at one point she was doing better than double that herself. She tired quickly, of course, and needed relief later in the day. Still, if she continues to grow stronger, she can eventually eliminate the need for the ventilator support entirely.

She is taking on a little more liquid again, since she is being fed partially through an IV. Hopefully, the digestive system will kick in right away, and she won’t get as bloated as she has in the past. She had also been given a couple units of blood overnight to build up her bloodstream volume, since she is still bleeding from the abdominal wound. That will happen regularly until the incision is closed up.

I authorized a rake massage for Lea this evening, and nearly fell asleep listening to the music the therapist played while doing the massage. I’m not sure Lea had any idea what was going on, but her blood pressure and pulse reacted much as it does when I read to her. I interpret that reaction as being more relaxed than usual, and am willing to repeat anything that helps her in any way.

It is really very hard to be with her day in and day out and not get any reaction from her. The doctors say that “she” is in there somewhere, and that she can hear my voice and be comforted by it. But, sometimes, in the weak moments, I wonder if she really is in there any more. Wouldn’t it be horrible to go through all this just to find that it is only the body that is being kept alive . . . that the essence of who she is has already gone? It makes me shutter to think of it, and I have to confess the thought makes me weep.

I received a message some time back from a person who suggested I think about whether I might be asking Lea to stay here with me, when she would rather, of course, go to her reward. The writer must have felt that the bond Lea and I share is strong enough that she would stay here and suffer on, just to please me. (If she knew Lea, she would think differently. J )

The natural reaction to that kind of comment is immediate rejection of the idea. And, I have to confess it deeply hurt my feelings. But, as I thought more about it, meditated as I read my study bible and prayed for insight, I began to realize that I didn’t have the power to make her stay here against her will. Only God can make the decision whether she goes or stays. There is comfort in that. I have decided that I wouldn’t want to be responsible for deciding who goes and who stays.

I pray to God for guidance in making the medical decisions that come before me on nearly a weekly basis, and that He grant me the wisdom and faith to do what is right. I can also bend down close to Lea’s ear, and with clear conscious, say, “Lea, I love you! I want you and need you. I am so proud of you! You are so strong! You are doing so well! Please don’t give up, darling. Keep fighting to get well, so we can go home.” What a relief it is to know that my desires are not going to be the deciding factor!

I don’t know that my faith has gotten any stronger. I accepted Jesus many years ago, and He has been a constant companion over the years. He has always been there in times of trouble, and in times of joy. But, I think my faith has taken on a different character. As I have struggled through this situation for the past several weeks, I have come to realize that I don’t have to just step back from my emotional ties to my soul mate and say, “The Lord’s will be done.”

I am one of His children, and I can approach my father and reason with Him. And, while I have to say, “Thy will be done,” I am allowed to plead with Him for my desires as well. Although I may be required to “drink from this cup” one of these days, I can ask that I be allowed more time before taking that drink. I may not be granted that additional time, but I am allowed to ask for it.

And, you know what? I’m okay with that.

Rest well, Lea. I’ll see you in the morning.

Praise God,

Larry

“Larry, LOL (Laugh Out Loud). I know how proud she will be that you have told the whole world that she had a bowel movement. I am so-o-o-o-o glad she doesn’t know yet!!!! No matter when it is, I can just hear her laugh!!!!”

The above is from one of my sisters. See how I get into trouble? I didn’t say ANYTHING about Lea having a bowel movement! I already know she wouldn’t think that was an appropriate thing to discuss in an update, so I’m not even going there!

I found out today, however, that when a person is being fed nutrition through a tube directly into her small intestine, the intention is for the milk-shake consistency nutrition to be absorbed into her body . . . not moved through the bowel in huge quantities. In the cases where that happens, the staff would probably switch the patient back over to a diet of half nutrition fed through the tube, and the other half fed as a liquid through an IV drip via a new port installed near the left wrist.

Oh, guess what? Lea had a new IV port installed near her left wrist today. In fact, all her IV ports have been replaced with fresh units over the past couple of days, just as a precaution against infection. Her lungs are continuing to produce only small quantities of thick fluid, and she seems to be able to tolerate the every-other-dressing-changes better, reacting with shorter term temperature spikes. She is still at 40% oxygen level and 10 peeps, and 15 breaths per minute..

She was allowed to rest today, in between the dressing change and all the IV line changes, but didn’t have to work on the ventilator reduction, which seems to tire her out very quickly. I have been massaging her legs for her . . . she still has those inflatable leggings on her calves that give her a constant massage, in an effort to avert blood clots . . and the leggings leave deep indentations on her legs. So, every once in a while, we take those off, and I put lotion on her, and massage away those marks.

She continues to drain off excess liquid from her body. Her face is once again taking on those characteristically attractive features that make her such a natural beauty. I redid her French nails for her today, and brushed out her hair and put it up on top of her head with one of those springy clamps girls use. We then “watched” a home movie of a family event a few years ago. I didn’t get much reaction from her today, and she wouldn’t open her eyes for me, but she had been pretty heavily sedated because of the dressing change in her abdominal wound, but she seemed to rest better during the movie.

I also noticed that her pulse rate lowered several points, and her blood pressure dropped slightly, as I read her email, eGreetings and greeting cards to her. I is really very comforting to know that she is recognizing names of those who mean so much to her as I read them. And, I’ve been delighted to see that she is being touched when I read those from someone we don’t yet know, who say they are writing because some person who knows us had sent them the updates on Lea, and that they want Lea to know that they are praying for her.

I’ve been toying with an idea for a little project to do for her. I’d like to put together some kind of a map that would show all the places folks are reading her updates and praying for her. I know many of the locations, but I’m certain I don’t have any idea of many, since the updates are forwarded on to many more than I have on the distribution list. Would you mind taking a moment to drop me an email with your location on it? All I need is city and state/province, etc. Send it to larry.vaughn@gmail.com, and I’ll start putting together an Excel sheet or something.

By the way, some of the girls wanted to see a photo of the braid I did in Lea’s hair, so I am sending it along. Don’t laugh. I think it’s pretty good for a first try, although it might be more properly called a “desperation braid.” Excuse us a moment boys . . . this is a girl , er, nurse thing. J

Thank you, again, for your continuing prayers. Lea is still in critical condition, and we hope to be able to continue sending good news of her recovery in the weeks ahead. But, we must realize that recovery is going to still take a while, and it may be months before we know just how fully she will recover. We pray for miraculous healing, of course, and thank you for your love and support.

Warmest regards,

Larry

Praise God, Lea remains stable again tonight. The doctor decided that she needed to have a day of rest before adding any more burden to her recovery. They did replace one of the IV ports in her arm, which they do on a regular basis to prevent infection, gave her a unit of blood, and infused albumen periodically to keep her blood pressure up. They also increased her ventilator just slightly to help her rest a little better.

She wouldn’t want me to say anything about big, multiple bowel movements all over the bed. And, I have nothing at all to say about six-week old lobster. But, I CAN tell you that I have a different perspective, and a new appreciation, for the duties of the nursing staff in intensive care. I guess I COULD say that the nurses gave me a couple pair of scrubs, and my name is up on the board as a nursing assistant. J

Lea was fortunate to have Barbara as her nurse overnight again last night, and Adam again today. They are both very attentive and caring, and I am very comfortable getting away for a few hours when they are caring for her. I’ve mentioned others, too, in various notes, and wouldn’t exclude any one of the nurses. It’s like they are handpicked. Not only are they very skilled technically, but they also are compassionate and thoughtful. I feel that we were led to this hospital, and have been very grateful for it.

I had a note from someone who started receiving these updates from an acquaintance some weeks after our initial stop in Hartford, wanting to know how we ended up here, so far from our home in Indiana. We were driving home from a vacation in Maine, and happened to be passing through the Hartford area when illness struck.

We vacationed with another couple from the town where we live, Pat and Joe Stroup. While passing through Hartford on the interstate, Joe, who was driving, suddenly pulled over to the side of the road, and got out of the truck, saying that he was experiencing chest discomfort. Long story short, he wound up in the emergency room of the hospital with suspected heart problems.

The next morning Lea got up feeling a little out of sorts, but showered and dressed, thinking we would rent a car for the drive home. By the time we got to the rental car agency across town and rented a car, she was too sick to drive home, so I turned the car right back in and drove to the hospital. Shortly thereafter she was so ill that I walked her into the emergency room, and she was later diagnosed with Acute Pancreatitis (not pancreatitis – they are different).

Our friend Joe’s stay was several weeks, and he just recently transferred back to Indiana via Air Ambulance, and is recuperating quite well. He is expected to complete his in-patient stay in the next two or three weeks and start out-patient rehabilitation. We are very grateful for his recovery, and thank God for His mercy in sparing our good friend.

Meanwhile, we continue seeing miracles worked here in Hartford. Lea has really surprised the doctors time and again with the healing that has occurred at so many stages of her recovery. She was given a 15% chance of recovery when we first brought her to this hospital, three days after being admitted to another facility. Acute Pancreatitis has only a 70% recovery rate, and that occurs only after many months of treatment followed by many more months of recovery.

We have had our setbacks, too, but know that the will of God is being worked, and that we are but pawns in the work that is being done through this illness. I continue to pray for Lea’s recovery and her return to full health through miraculous healing, and am looking forward to the day I can take her back home to be nearer to her friends, family and loved ones.

I will have to say again to those of you who have done so much to support us through your emails, eGreetings, and greeting cards, that these are tangible evidence for the staff here at the hospital of the love that surrounds Lea. It is a palpable demonstration of the wonderful support we receive through the prayer groups that are lifting her up. It helps Lea when I read the notes to her, and it helps the nursing staff see that she has earned a special place in the hearts of so many.

Thank you again for your love and support,

Larry

Lea is resting comfortably tonight. She had to do a little work today, trying to do a little more of the breathing as the ventilator was turned down just ever so slightly. In just a short time she began to labor with each breath, and her physical therapist, Cliff, returned the vent settings back where the were, letting her rest. Her nurse, Adam, stated that the little bit of exercise is very tiring for her, but it is a first step to building her back up to where she’ll be strong enough to breathe on her own.

Her vital signs all seem to be pretty stable once again, except when she is being moved, or she thinks she is going to be moved. As soon as you touch her unexpectedly, she opens her eyes, and her blood pressure elevates. I can’t imagine the horrible pain she must have in her abdomen, and of course every movement you make, including breathing, uses those severed stomach muscles.

Dr. Mah did a dressing change again today in the stomach wound, and said everything looks good enough that he plans to do the dressing changes every second or third day for the next week or two, and then will close her up. By then we should be very confident that the acute pancreatitis is well under control, and that the healing of all systems is under way. All major systems are likely to have suffered some damage, but we won’t know how much until recovery begins running its course.

Good news also came in the form of a conversation with our friends Pat and Joe Stroup, who were able to return to Indiana after their stay here in Hartford. It appears that Joe is well on the way to recovery, and we are delighted to learn of his progress, although we miss having the Stroups here to visit with on a daily basis. We look forward to being able to sit on the porch with them again passing the time drinking iced tea and people watching.

We really miss our dear friends back in Indiana. I haven’t mentioned in my notes that Lea is in her second term as president of the Atlanta Lions Club, and we have made acquaintances with many wonderful people through that service organization. Joe and I are both past presidents of the club, and Pat has held several offices including her present post as secretary.

We have been humbled to learn that our Lions Club has set up a fund to help us financially through this bazaar situation. Although that is what Lionism is all about, and what we, as leaders of the club have done for others for years, it feels different to be on the other side. As one of our fellow Lions said, “It’s easier for Lions to give than it is to receive. That’s just our nature.”

Thank you for your loving kindnesses, your thoughtful support, your Christian charity, your prayers for Lea’s miraculous healing, your emails, cards and eGreetings. They are all so very much appreciated!

Humbly yours,

Larry

This was a really wonderful day, as Lea’s sedatives had been reduced enough that she came up closer to the surface and was able to respond to me a little. She had also reduced a lot of the swelling in her body caused by the retention of fluids. Her face began to be recognizable again, and her eyes lost their puffiness so that she was able to open them. It sure was nice to see her pretty blue eyes again!

She would open her eyes when I entered the room and spoke to her, and as I read to her or talked about some of our memories. She also made some facial expressions as she listened to some of the home movies I had recorded on DVD this past summer. She still isn’t moving her toes or squeezing my hand yet, and it may be some time before she is that aware. How precious a smile would be!

Her open belly wound apparently causes her a great deal of pain, and she is aware of the pain even at this low level of consciousness, as she grimaces when we attempt to move her or any of the limbs, because she anticipates the pain it could cause. Because of this she will probably not be brought up much further toward consciousness until the belly wound is closed and it begins healing and reducing the pain.

Her control of breathing improved today, in that she was able to handle a reduction in the ventilator support. She is now down to 14-15 breaths per minute (normal), 40% oxygen support and 8 peeps. Normal lung function is 5 peeps, and that is the goal, but keep in mind that she still has pneumonia, and it will probably be a week or so before she will be able to reach self-sufficiency.

She fought a low level temperature again today, and didn’t respond as well to Tylenol as we would have liked. It’s possible that she will be put back on an antibiotic tomorrow. She was getting rid of fluids by the “bucket” full today, often times getting ahead of her body’s ability to adjust to the change. That would cause her blood pressure to drop, and that required occasional infusion of albumen to put more fluid into the bloodstream. As her body catches up, that problem should clear itself out.

We added some new, fashionable, padded stockings to her wardrobe this evening as the skin on the back of her heels began to break down with bedsores. I am pretty confident that the sores developed as a result of laying in one position too long without being turned, as we had been very careful to make sure the rocking bed didn’t cause skin irritation. That’s what happens when you can’t be there 24 X 7 to make sure everything is being watched and all protections taken.

I removed the fingernail polish from her toes today and my sister Pam applied a new coat of polish to keep them looking the way they were when she got sick. Hopefully we can keep her illness from being too depressing when she wakens. It’s going to be confusing enough to realize that months have gone by since your last memory.

By the way, I also did my first braid today! I washed her hair this morning, which she really enjoys, and then braided a pony tail on the top of her head. I put a nice red sprunchy at the base and a white bow at the top to hold it together. If you squinted your eyes just right, it actually looked pretty good! I took a picture of it so Lea can get a laugh later on.

I am so grateful for each precious moment she can open her eyes and, perhaps, know that I am here with her. I don’t want her to ever feel that she is fighting this battle alone. The two of us have always been able to team up, work together, and with God in our hearts and at our sides, been able to tackle anything that came along. I think she needs to know that I’m there to provide any support I can, and that my devotion to her knows no bounds. With the Lord’s help we will overcome this present challenge as well.

May God bless you,

Larry

Wonderful news today! Lea has recovered well enough from the pneumonia to be moved from her kinetic roller bed back into a regular hospital bed. Her breathing returned to previous levels of support very quickly after the move . . . 17 breaths per minute, 40% oxygen at 10 PEEPS, and her oxygen absorption rate actually increased a little today, up to 97%.

Dr. Mah was very encouraged by her quick response to corrective medications and therapy, and decided to change her over to a different means of feeding her. Instead of continuing to feed her via an IV line, another tube was inserted into her nose, down her esophagus past the stomach and pancreas into the small intestine. She will now receive her food through a continuous drip into this tube, which will get rid of another pathway for infection to be introduced.

She continues to get rid of excess fluid at a steady, heavy rate, has no temperature, and needs only occasional blood pressure medications, indicating that she is doing a lot of things right at the moment. We still have a lot of things to accomplish, and one is to determine whether she has enough pancreas left to produce adequate levels of insulin. She may be diabetic when she comes off support, and may require on-going support for blood sugar control.

Many of these things we won’t know until she completes running a few more hurdles, regaining full use of all her bodily systems, and enters rehabilitation. We hope that she can accomplish these objectives within the next several weeks, so we can transport her home for rehabilitation nearer to her friends and family.

While we are enjoying a respite from the terribly difficult days just behind us, we want to pause a moment to recall where we were just a week ago tonight . . . seven days after she suffered two heart stoppages and a lung failure, one day after another! It is just amazing how quickly you can bottom out, but also how quickly the power of prayer can restore us to a position of awesome improvement and miraculous healing.

I continue to be humbled by God’s mercy and marvel at the wonders he works as I see Lea returning from her deep sleep, opening her eyes sleepily as I read your messages to her. She can’t focus or move her eyes yet, but it is as though she is opening her eyes to concentrate on what I am saying.

Several folks have asked for info on whether a gift they sent ever arrived, since I haven’t mentioned them (or sent thank you notes). I have received several gifts for her, and display them on the window ledges in her room. Although she can’t see them yet, the medical staff sure has enjoyed them! I took some snapshots of the groupings I have made of the gifts and had Lance post them on Lea’s prayer page on his website. Take a quick look to see the gifts she will enjoy seeing when she wakes up. By the way, the little inspirational books you have sent I read to her over and over, and I know that she will enjoy reading them for herself when she is able.

Thank you again for your wonderful support and prayers. I have been truly amazed by our experience here, and have been honored that you have taken an interest and provided Lea with the loving thoughts and support we have received. I could never have imagined that a couple stranded so far from home could have been so uplifted by friends, family, and wonderfully compassionate folks we haven’t yet met. I hope we can all meet for hugs in the near future.

In His love,

Larry

Lea is continuing to hold steady, remaining in stable, though critical condition. She has not gone backwards since the weekend, thank God, and is making tiny steps of progress. Her doctor wanted to avoid doing any more tweaking of her medications or support today, letting her rest at her current level. She is doing a little more of the breathing herself, and keeping her oxygen level up where it needs to be.

Her lungs seem to be clearing pretty well, although they will not be completely clear for at least two weeks. The bed she has been on has helped keep the pneumonia from settling into any particular location, and a suction device added to her ventilator is periodically removing small amounts of fluid from her lungs. Since her breathing has improved, she has been able to have the rocking motion of the bed reduced from the initial 60 degree rotation to each side, down to 45 degrees this afternoon, and 30 degrees tonight. She may be able to get back into a regular bed within the next couple of days, barring any nasty problems.

As soon as the pneumonia is under control, treatment for other problems can be resumed. She still has an open incision in her abdomen, a pretty severe drug addiction, kidneys that are not quite healthy yet, and a lingering dependence on the ventilator. Hopefully, we will be able to wean her from the ventilator within the next couple of weeks, and get that abdomen closed up. Then, I think, we’ll be able to start on some real serious recovery and rehabilitation programs.

I thank God for the miracles He has bestowed upon us in this crisis situation, and, as you know, we have seen several. Even Dr. Kirton, speaking to us at Lea’s beside said, “She has had a spectacular day! Praise God!” Dr. Kirton has spoken of being “surprised” by her quick healing; “marveled” at her rate of surgical healing; “celebrated” the healing that took place in such a short period of time. All of these, of course, were the result of the power of prayer and God’s granting of miraculous healing for Lea.

This miraculous healing we have seen occurring has been the source of my motivation for these writings I’ve been doing. And, I have been very moved by the love, kindness and generosity I’ve experienced over the past several difficult weeks. I have had all kinds of notes of appreciation expressing how folks have been motivated by the messages to communicate better with their loved ones, or, that they are going back to church for the first time in years! It has been extremely heart-warming to receive the loving notes relating that the writer finally understands what the power of prayer is all about, because they experienced it for the first time through Lea’s ordeal.

It is very evident that Lea means more to many, many more people than I realized. She IS really special, isn’t she? What a gift she has been to me! I think it was probably the “vision” I had a while back that started me thinking about the depths of my love for her, and prepared me to bare my soul in this series of emails. It is certainly therapeutic for me, but, I think, is also serving a higher purpose, as I am lead to pray for the words of each night’s message prior to writing it.

I feel that I am serving God’s purpose in some manner, and pray that Lea and I might continue to minister for Him in the years ahead. I don’t know what shape that ministry would be, but I’m sure He will let us know.

Here is a prayer that my son, Lance, penned during this past weekend on behalf of his mother. It isn’t yet a finely polished prayer, but rather, a prayer pouring from an aching heart. I think you will see clearly that her inner beauty is seen by many others . . . even her sons.

Lance’s Prayer:

“Holy and Almighty God, you are awesome, glorious, and majestic. THANK
YOU, LORD, for the countless blessings you share with us every day.
Thank you for the gift of this life on Earth, the gift of fellowship
and compassion and prayer, and most of all, the gift of eternal life
in heaven. Lord, we thank you for blessing us with the miracle of our
angel, Leona Marie. She has touched so many of us so deeply with her
genuine ways and heavenly grace.

I must confess, Lord, that I have struggled with understanding the
purpose of her suffering and the grief it has caused for so many who
care for her. But after much praying and fellowship, I now have
renewed faith that your plan for her, though extremely difficult to
appreciate, is truly perfect. I trust that you, Lord, are in control
of all things, and that your plan for us is the most perfect plan, the
only plan. If you choose to take my mother home at such a young age, I
have to believe that in your infinite wisdom, you know that doing so
will better serve you than if you were to let her stay with us longer.
Lord, I must confess that I find this hard to fathom, but with all my
might I will embrace it as best I can.

Lord, I humbly ask that you lift up my father and fill his heart with
your love. He needs you now more than ever and we ask that you
continue to guide him, support him, and comfort him by sharing with
him your wisdom in these emotional times.

Please, God, I pray for your healing mercy for my mother, our angel,
Leona Marie.

Your will be done.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen”

A quick word about our friend Joe, who suffered the heart problems that caused us to stop here in Conneticutt. He called me today from his hospital room in Indiana to report that he was feeling very well, was sailing through his physical therapy, and may be able to move to an in-patient rehabiitation facility within the next week or so. He is enjoying being back home with his family and friends, and sends his sincere appreciation for your prayers on his behlf while he was in such serious condition. He joins you in prayer for Lea’s recovery, and is looking forward to a time when we can be together again.

I know I haven’t taken time to write many individual notes, but wanted to say “Thank you” for your very kind cards, letters and emails. They are the source of much encouragement and strength. Please don’t stop sending them! Thank you for your continued expressions of love and support, too. May God’s blessings flow richly into your life and love.

Warmest regards,

Larry

So, how do you like your roller coasters? You like them with high, steep ups and downs, or REALLY high, steep ups and downs? We have certainly been on one of the lowest points of Lea’s recovery so far during this past weekend. We took a REALLY steep drop in Lea’s progress this past Thursday, were on pins and needles throughout the weekend as we stayed by her bedside

We don’t know what the numerical number is for the chance of Lea’s recovery at this point, but Dr. Mah states that statistically 70% of those who suffer an acute pancreatitis attack survive. He doesn’t like putting numbers on chances of survival. They can come back to bite you. But, so far, we have felt very comfortable with the validity of the information, projections and predictions Lea’s doctors have given us.

Dr. Kirton, Chief of Surgery, is a very thoughtful and compassionate fellow. He has a medium to slender build and is probably about 6′ 2″. I’m no good at guessing age, but would be surprised if he is much over his early-fifties. He has a captivating smile when he feels the situation is right to allow it, and his white teeth are quite striking against his dark complexion. I think he could also be described as handsome, too. I know that he is held in very high regard by the nurses here at Hartford Hospital.

Last Monday, after closing up the left side of Lea’s abdomen, he came out of the ICU’s swinging doors into the waiting area, where I was sitting, with a big smile on his face. He was slipping his arm into his white doctor’s coat, obviously having just shed surgical scrubs. He was wearing a blue long sleeve shirt and red bowtie. My spirits were immediately lifted just knowing by that smile that he was going to give us good news. I told him later during a casual conversation that he is one of the few people who can make a red bowtie look good. He also takes ribbing well! J

Today, he stopped by Lea’s room in the morning, and again toward the end of the day, to see how she was doing. By afternoon Lea had done a great job of responding to the rotating bed treatment. In fact, by one o’clock in the afternoon the “swan” was removed, because it was no longer needed for her treatment.

This is the second time, by the way, that she has had a swan, properly known as a Swan-Gantz catheter. It is a thin, flexible tube that is inserted through one of the large veins that return blood to the heart. It uses a balloon to carry it to the heart to the pulmonary artery. Once there, the catheter gives precise readings of pressures and temperatures within the heart.

The reason the staff likes to see them go away is because they provide a path for exterior infections to go directly into the center of the heart. Taking it off a patient is a good thing, and a sign that their condition is improving enough that the risks associated with use of the device can now be avoided.

Her temperature has remained pretty close to normal, her blood pressure has been very good, and her kidneys are working well. During the mid-afternoon and again during the evening, sterile water was placed directly into the stomach through the tube in Lea’s nose, to see if her system would absorb water. A test last Sunday ended in failure, but today, there was some absorption that took place. If the digestive system will kick into gear, she can be given fluids through the stomach, eliminating the need for one more of the IVs.

Here oxygen support was reduced to 40% today, and she seemed to do well at that level, maintaining oxygenation of her blood in the 94-95% level. Again, this indicates some healing is occurring in the lungs. She is also getting a little touch of Lasix to reduce the fluids being held in her body. An ultrasound of her legs today showed no identifiable blockages in the veins or arteries.

All in all, as Dr. Kirton said this evening, “She is doing a spectacular ob” of overcoming her medical problems. She is a fighter, and God is guiding her every step of the way. He is giving us miracle after miracle in leading us through this trial, and we must continue to pray for His miraculous healing for her.

Thank you for your continuing devotion to prayer for Lea.

In His service,
Larry

God is great! Lea is on the mend again! During a family meeting conference call this afternoon Dr. John Mah, Lea’s surgeon, stated that Lea is making significant progress in fighting the infection in her body. For the first time in four weeks or more the low-grade temperature she has been fighting has been moderated. We’re not sure it has been eliminated, but it has been slowed significantly. We’ll see what happens now that her four-day course of Xigris has been completed.

Her lungs are handling slightly reduced ventilator settings, indicating that some healing is going on there. Dr. Mah said to expect that the battle against pneumonia will normally take two to three weeks, and will likely extend her stay by at least that amount. The pneumonia was not totally unexpected, since it occurs in most patients on a ventilator. What was unexpected was how severe her reaction was to the pneumonia.

Treatment of her Adult Respiratory Inflammation Syndrome is going to take some time, and we may see a flare up after recovery begins, but Dr. Mah is fairly confident that recovery will eventually be accomplished, barring any major setbacks. Since the lungs are the only major organ disfunctioning at the current time, she could rebound fairly quickly after she regains control of her breathing. As soon as she shows some recovery, and then stability, attempts will again be made to wean her off the ventilator and get her breathing for herself again.

Efforts to slowly bring her up out of sedation will be started as early as next week, if she continues to improve. Slowly means that they will reduce her medication by 2% a day, bringing her up to full consciousness in about six weeks. She is getting big doses of addictive drugs, and part of the recovery will be managing the withdrawal symptoms over a period of time. She will likely be confused and disoriented at first, but patients usually improve with time.

Her surgery continues to heal very well . . . better than expected. But, the surgeons have decided not to close it soon in case she suffers another set back of some sort. It may be important for them to be able to get back in to the abdomen to ensure that nothing goes wrong inside. The pancreas appears to be healing very well, and surrounding tissues appear undamaged to any large extent. Dr Mah plans to make her incision scar as minimal as possible.

The doctor stopped short of saying that recovery is certain, but did indicate that he remains cautiously optimistic for her recovery over the course of time, barring any more major setbacks like the one just experienced. He also stated that he thinks we may be able to get her out of the rotating bed quite soon, which will make it much easier for me to read to her, and keep the floor tile from wearing out around the end of the bed too quickly. J

As I washed and prettied Lea up this afternoon for her surgery, I began relating to her my memories of how we met. It has always been funny to tell someone the story of our meeting, because she would always say she remembered it differently. But, being good-natured as she is, she has always taken the ribbing in stride, and I’m still waiting to hear her version of the story.

When I was a junior in High School, I had made friends with a neighbor, George, who lived three houses down from us. George was a senior that year, and he had been dating my younger sister, Jean, who wanted to go to George’s graduation, and then go out to dinner afterwards. But she wanted to double date, and asked me if I would get a date and go with them.

I had just broken up with a girl, and didn’t know who might be available. I called several girls I knew, but was unsuccessful in finding anyone who was available to go out on that night, just a week away. Reporting this to Jean, she suggested that I call some of her friends.

That idea didn’t appeal much to me. After all, we were talking about freshmen girls, two years younger than me! I didn’t know any freshmen, other than boys on the junior varsity football team. I thought of them as being quite a bit younger, and consequently had no friends in that age group.

But, after making phone calls over the next couple of nights, and still not having any luck, I decided to pursue a date with a freshman. After all, it was just for the one night, and George and Jean really wanted me to double date with them. So, I went to Jean and asked her who she had in mind for me to call. She mentioned a couple of girls, one who lived just a block from us on Grace Street.

I knew the girl, from seeing her at the school bus stop, and walking by our house on the way to the neighborhood grocery store. Although she was cute, she was two years younger than me, so I had not paid much attention to her. But, I called to see if she would be interested in going out that. Unfortunately, her family had conflicting plans, and she was unable to accept.

I asked Jean whom else she thought I should call. She got her billfold out of her purse and started showing me photos of her classmate-friends. We sorted through them, eliminating those girls who were in relationships, and then I sorted them again, making a short stack, with my first choice on top. After calling each of these girls, and having no luck at getting a date, Jean and I returned to her wallet to see what pictures she had left.

One photo caught my eye. It was a thin little girl, in a simple blouse, who had a lovely smile. I asked who it was. Jean said that her name was Leona, and though she didn’t know her very well, she seemed to be very nice. She went on to say that Leona was Jim Tate’s sister. I was surprised! I had known Jim a long time. I was surprised that he had a younger sister.

I visited with Jim by phone for a few minutes to catch up on old times, and told him that I was trying to find a date for the senior graduation. I asked what he thought about me asking Leona to go. He said, “SIS? Oh, she’d probably think that was all right. You wanna talk to her?”

I don’t remember much detail about our specific conversation, but I recall that it was fairly brief. I told her that our plans were to double date with my sister, attend the graduation and go to dinner afterwards. We agreed upon a time for me to pick her up, but I don’t recall any other chatting. I was happy when she accepted, but I really didn’t expect much to come from the date. She was someone to go out with for the evening, and that was what I needed.

At the appointed hour I drove Jean and myself to the Tate’s house to pick up Leona. When we arrived, and were invited into the living room, there seemed to be an awful lot of people in the room . . . I didn’t realize how big the Tate family was . . . five boys, two girls, and mom and dad. And, they were all in the living room of that house, wanting to get a glimpse of the guy that was taking “Sis” out on a date!

I was a little overwhelmed, of course, but found that chatting with Jim eased things somewhat. After a few minutes the younger brothers and sister started leaving the room to do something, or anything, more interesting. I began to wonder what she would be like. I felt some apprehension at that point, because I hadn’t dated a girl as young as my sister, and mused that an evening of little or no consequence lay ahead.

Then, Leona came into the room. She was dressed in a white islet party dress with full skirt that came to about mid-calf. It had narrow black ribbon at the hem, neck, and short sleeve, finished off with a black belt. She was very slender for a fifteen year-old girl, and couldn’t have weighed a hundred pounds. I later discovered that I could encircle her wrist with my middle finder and thumb! She was hardly more than skin and bones!

Oh, but she had the face of an angel; perfect complexion, curly dishwater blonde hair, bright blue eyes, slender straight nose, full, pink lips, and a smile that radiated like a beacon. The combination was quite enchanting. She talked excitedly to Jean about how much she had been looking forward to going out, and when Jean complimented her dress, she turned around in a circle, sending the full skirt sailing to its full length, floating above the floor.

Then Jean introduced me to her, and she said that she knew me from seeing me on the team when she stayed after school to watch her brother Jim at football practice. A few more pleasantries were exchanged with the family, and we said our goodbyes to head for the ceremony at the high school. When it was concluded, we gathered up George and drove through town and across the river to the restaurant located just on the other side.

Leona and I sat beside each other across from Jean and George in a booth table. I found her conversation to be fascinating. She was very mature, having a great deal of responsibility at home taking care of her younger sister and brothers, preparing meals, doing laundry and many other chores. Since her family was so large, she had to help her mother keep things in order and the youngsters cared for on a daily basis.

Needless to say, she captured my heart. I fell in love with her on that first date. I soon told her that I didn’t like her name, couldn’t call her “Sis” like everyone else in her family, so I was going to call her Lee. She thought that would be okay. Later, after we were married, she changed the spelling to Lea, saying that she thought it was more feminine.

Lea made a wonderful home for us. She had to learn how to cook for just two people, instead of for her big family, and we grew up together. We had decided to wait a couple of years to have children, so we could be together and enjoy doing and learning new things. We had great fun on weekend trips, and she became dearer to me with each passing breath.

She taught me patience, real love, compassion, and so many other things! I find it difficult to truly express how very much she has meant to me. She left her family to raise me. She, ever so gently, coached, guided, and led me to strive for self-fulfillment, to be a good father and earn the love of my dear sons. She taught me how to be a good husband and friend.

I loved her with a passion that knew no boundaries. I loved her, heart and soul. And, I thank God that the passion has never diminished, but, rather, has grown even deeper with each passing year. She has given me such a wonderful life-long love, that she has been my greatest blessing.

I will always hold dear the memories of her beautiful face, her supple body with its warm, comforting embraces, and her glowing personality. I thank God for the gift of her love, and praise Him for the many blessings He has given me through her. I often wonder if she isn’t secretly an angel, sent to bring grace to my time here on earth.

Thank you, God! Amen

Larry